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On Stranger Tides Review

No wonder this movie is called On Stranger Tides, it’s full of strangers!

I miss Will and Elizabeth, and I’ll be honest, the first few times I tried to watch this movie I fell asleep.

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On Stranger Tides focuses on Jack’s want to find the fountain of youth. He meets Angelica (Penelope Cruz) a former lover of his who has been impersonating him.

Jack has to team up with Blackbeard to find the fountain of youth. Aside this he has to find two chalices that must be drunk from at the same time by two people filled with water from the fountain of youth. When Jack tries to locate the chalices however he finds them gone and instead stumbles upon Barbossa who believes the Spanish have taken them.

Jack and Barbossa team up to try and retrieve the chalices. He offers a chalice to Blackbeard in exchange for Angelica which he accepts. Blackbeard has also stolen a tear from a mermaid which means only he has to drink from the fountain of youth to gain its power and the other person without the mermaid tear will die.

A scuffle happens between the Spanish and the crew where Blackbeard is stabbed and Angelica is poisoned. The mermaid that fits into this movie somehow gives Jack the chalice with her tear and tells him not to waste it. He wants Angelica to take it seeing as she is dying. Blackbeard instead takes the chalice and makes Angelica drink from the other one, in theory making him immortal and her die. However Jack mixed up the chalices so Blackbeard ends up dying. Angelica and Jack say they love each other but he maroons her on an island because of course he does.

In the after credits she finds a Captain Jack voodoo doll and smiles.

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Now I’m sorry, but I hate this movie. I hate it. It’s too long, too boring and had nothing of the original styles in it really apart from some characters. It lost its way. Captain Jack was ok but his new sidekicks were just unbearable to watch. Barbossa wasn’t as punchy as before and honestly I found this movie completely forgettable. I wish I never sat through it.

Zombies and mermaids? Alright mate calm down. Yes the other movies had supernatural elements but they were good and tied in well with the story, these just didn’t. It was like the writers were throwing things in for the hell of it.

And this is why I worry for the new movie. I worry it still won’t have the flare of the originals and leave me wondering why I ever wasted my time with it. Of course, I want it to be good but if it will be or not is another question entirely.

This movie doesn’t give me high hopes for the next one but, of course, knowing me I probably will still go and see it. If anything, it’ll be a good movie to review.

I do in some ways wish that they would just leave these movies to rest now.

What did you think of On Stranger Tides?

Until next time.

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