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Paranormal: White Noise Review

Another paranormal movie, woo, but at least this one tackles something new. Goodbye creaky floorboards and doors slamming shut, welcome to the world of noise.

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Kelly is a paranormal researcher who has a blog and dedicates her time to debunking paranormal sightings. She receives a direct message.

Right stop there.

The first thing that bugged me about this film and I know it’s silly but I have to say it, the messages were the wrong way round. They would appear above the last message instead of below so if you read it back it’d all be backwards. Surely it’s not that hard to just do such a small detail right? It’s not like people don’t use instant messenger everyday!

Anyway I digress.

Kelly receives a message about a ghostly girl haunting an unused railway station and she goes to check it out. Along the way, in the abandoned station she meets a bunch of people who actually turn out to be ghosts themselves. But of course she doesn’t realise this for a long time.

Anyway, because of how far down she is etc. she starts to hallucinate and lose oxygen. This just adds to the paranormal activity around her and she starts to lose it. It tries, I’ll give it that.

But then in the end she gets out before she dies and it turns out there was no girl there after all and this was all a backstory for the character (I’m guessing she was a mum at some point, honestly this movie bored me so much I can’t be asked to check).

And she says she will never research the paranormal again until she receives another email and yep, you guessed it, she can’t stop. Woo.

This movie was incredibly dull and boring and I honestly do not care about it. I watched it because it did sound interesting and you could’ve had a few good scares and a good twist within it yet there was none of that.

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And I honestly don’t think the creators know how technology works because:

Exhibit A: the email thing I mentioned above

Exhibit B: she goes to an abandoned subway station which has been unused for a while and she is able to find perfect wifi for her laptop. Ok you may say she linked up with her phone, but we’re shown plenty of times her phone loses signal or doesn’t work well so that can’t be true. Can you just get wifi anywhere in America these days? I’m jealous.

And exhibit C: her laptop never runs out of charge despite her having it on (as in open with screen on) at all times and she is down there for more than five hours! There can’t be any plugs in this station and if there are the movie certainly didn’t spend time establishing them so this could’ve had an ounce of logic behind it.

So, as you can see, I did not enjoy this movie and I would not watch it again. It had a very forgettable storyline, very little horror to it, and the main character was pretty unlikeable too. So three strikes you’re out. Try something else and don’t waste your time.

What did you think of Paranormal: White Noise?

Until next time.

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