Bird Box Review
I’ll be honest, I only watched this movie because of the memes, was it worth it? Nope, it was two hours of my life wasted!
Do you remember The Happening? Well this is basically another Happening but without M. Knight. You might think that’s a good thing, but I’m afraid, it’s not.
In Bird Box we follow Malorie, a young woman who is pregnant when The Happening begins. Basically there is a monster, which we never see, and if you look at it, it causes you to commit suicide. Lovely right? But of course you can get around this by not looking at it, wearing blindfolds, or, as we find with the ending, being blind.
Malorie gives birth during The Happening and takes on another woman’s baby too who she was living with (when people had to find shelter) who killed herself by launching herself hysterically through a window. Malorie lovingly names these children, a boy and a girl, Boy and Girl.
Time flashes back and forth in the film but we find out there’s a safe place she can travel to with her children and the man she has fallen in love with, Tom, but before she heads off Tom is sadly killed.
She still heads off down a river, yes blindfolded, and somehow despite nearly drowning in rapids and being attacked the three make it to safety. Whoop de doo.
Honestly, this movie was so boring I actually fell asleep halfway through and woke up to a whole new scene and still understood exactly what was going on. The story focuses a lot on the people we encounter which is supposed to make us feel sad when they die…yet it doesn’t work because they’re still very one dimensional. Not much really happens and because you never actually get to see the monster the fear really isn’t there.
If we could see the monster lurking behind the group or following them silently with their blindfolds on that could’ve been terrifying. But instead we just had to watch people amble about awkwardly and stealing things from other homes.
This is definitely not a movie I would watch again and I also wouldn’t recommend it. It was long winded, boring, and didn’t really get resolved either. So what they’re just going to live out their days now in the blind school? What about food there huh? That was a huge issue at the first place they stayed at.
So many plot holes, such a waste of time, give it a miss.
Until next time.
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